Pictures of Opie

Nathan meeting Opie for the first time

(he was a little scared...HA!)

Natalie with Uncle Geoff and Opie, just this past summer

(doesn't he look so happy here? :) )

Geoff and Opie, fast asleep on the floor while we were packing to move

to our new house.

Opie, fast asleep while Geoff and I were doing homework

(at our old house, probably sometime during our Jr. or Sr. year of college)

Opie, riding in the backseat of our Civic

during one of many car rides to visit family in Yakima

My neice Kate, when she was about 1, sitting on Opie

He's so patient.

Geoff and Opie at our first house
(this was taken during our 1st year of marriage)

The GREATEST Dog Ever...Opie

On Christmas day, my family did something that we have never done before...we went to a movie.

We all piled into our cars and headed to the theatre to see Marley and Me. It was SUCH a good movie. After laughing and crying I was inspired to write a blog about my favorite Labrador, Opie (full name, Mr. Bailey's Opus).

***

Here are the basic information about Opie:
~Opie is a pure-bred, Chocolate Labrador
~His full registered name is Mr. Bailey's Opus
~He weighs roughly 90lbs
~He is our "clearance puppy" (see Marley and Me and you'll get that)
~My parent's favorite nickname for Opie is "Opus Maximus" because he's so big
~I have many nicknames for Opie:
~Opus
~Opie Ropie
~Handsome
~Puppy Roo
~Opie Ropes
~Opie Doo
(just to name a few)

He's been Geoff's faithful dog ever since Geoff was in high school and he has been our faithful dog for the entire 5 years of our marriage. I'll never forget the night I found out I was pregnant. I had come home from work, terrified, with one pregnancy test in hand. I ran in the house, went straight to the bathroom, having only turned on one light in the living room, the rest of house was dark. Opie, and my sister-in-law's dog, Tucker (who we were watching at the time while she was in Argentina) came running towards the bathroom where I was. Both sat right outside the door, waiting for me. After I took the test, Opie walked into the bathroom and sat right beside me while I called my friend Corrie first and then my mom. I sobbed that night, because we were not planning on getting pregnant (however, we weren't really preventing it either). Opie laid his head on my lap while I sat on the couch, talking on the phone with my sister, sobbing. He didn't leave my side that entire night.

During my entire pregnancy that's exactly how he behaved with me. He would follow me all over that house and back. Every time I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, he followed me right there and laid outside the bathroom waiting for me.

I remember that fateful night at the hospital laying in my bed, looking at the ceiling wishing Opie could be there with us. Geoff had to run home to feed him and asked me if there was anything from home that I wanted. I asked him if he could pack Opie in a bag for me and bring him to the hospital. I missed him the most I have ever missed him during those days in the hospital.

When we came home on the 16th, Opie calmly walked up, sat right in front of me and greeted me gently. He followed me all over the house and each place I would "land", whether it was on the couch or in the kitchen, Opie would lay down at my feet or sit next to me with his head in my lap. He never left my side, or Geoff's, during those first few weeks back home without our Parker.

There were a few nights, when I would sit down on the floor next to him, crying and would wrap my arms around him. He's the best comfort for me, next only to my husband.

There was one night, that I was truly impressed with my dog. Geoff and I were sitting on the couch, eating dinner and watching TV. Usually, Opie curls up on the floor in front of the coffee table while we watch TV, but this particular night we couldn't find Opie. I sat up to see if maybe he was behind the easy chair (which is another one of his favorite spots), but he wasn't there either. So I got up and looked in the office, not there. Then I looked across the hall in the nursery, and there he was, curled up on the floor. It touched my heart. He's just the sweetest dog.

When we're happy, he's happy. When we're sad, he's sad. When we need comfort, he's there to comfort us. He's just the best.

I love my Opie, the GREATEST dog ever!

***

GO SEE MARLEY AND ME! (OH, one more thing, there's a scene in the movie that Geoff and I can totally identify with. Every single thing that the doctor and the nurse say is exactly how it happened to Geoff and I. Then, the way that Marley behaves that night is EXACTLY how Opie behaved...crazy stuff, but I felt like they had taken a snapshot of our lives. GO SEE IT!)

Christmas for these Harmons

Following Parker's death, I found myself dreading his due date, October 19th. However, Geoff and I did so well that day. It had landed on a Sunday. We went to church, had dinner with his parents, like we usually do, and then we went home. It was a normal day, not a single sad thought or emotion in sight.

After making it successfully through that day, I found myself dreading Thanksgiving, to some degree. I was dreading it because it would be the first holiday that we would be celebrating following Parker's death. Geoff and I had no clue how Thanksgiving would be for us. However, when the day finally came, everything was just...fine. It was wonderful, in fact. Grady had invited a friend over for Thanksgiving dinner, BJ had flown in from Arizona, and everything was...fine, perfectly fine and normal.

This gave me hope. It gave both Geoff and I hope that Christmas would be perfectly fine and normal.

As the Christmas season approached, following Halloween...HA, oh just kidding. Anyway, as the Christmas season approached, Geoff and I kept tabs on each others emotions. We constantly asked the other how they were doing, how they were handling the fast approaching Christmas. So far, we were doing just fine. It was great, Christmas looked really hopeful.

December 23rd came fast, this was the night that we celebrated Christmas with the Harmon's before heading off to Yakima to be with my family for Christmas. We arrived at Mark and Vanessa's at about 9:30, following the sad loss of BSU to TCU (sad for Geoff) at the Poinsettia bowl. Geoff and I brought a yummy treat for everyone to enjoy, as well as all of their presents to open. I was so excited to have this early Christmas. We opened everyones presents. A beautiful purse from Stefanie to me, an awesome Ferrari shirt from Stefanie for Geoff, and some other fun gifts as well. It was a great Christmas.

Then, before all the presents were over, Geoff opened up a shirt from his parent's. It was a shirt that Vanessa had purchased for Geoff when I was pregnant with Parker. It has a white background with a bunch of different black guitars on it. She bought the same shirt for Parker, only his was black with white guitars on it. Geoff was with her when she bought them, and knew that he would have to wait until Christmas to have it. The night we found out Parker had died, Geoff thought about those shirts. I think he was sort of excited about that gift in a bitter sweet sort of way. When he opened it, on Tuesday night, he was so excited to finally have that shirt. He then asked his mom about Parker's and if she still had it. Grandma Precious, went downstairs and brought it up, still wrapped in it's Target bag. We opened the bag, pulled out the shirt and held it up to look at it. So stinkin' cute! We decided to take it home and save it for the next little one we have. We decided, boy or girl, they will wear it.

It was a great great Christmas with our Harmon family. There wasn't one single sad thought in sight for us. No "poor us" feelings at all. It was a night full of happiness, laughter and good times had by everyone there. I praise the Lord for a good Christmas with our Harmon family.

That night, Geoff and I opened our presents to each other, then packed up and got ready for our trip to Yakima.

At 11:00am we ventured out on the highway and headed to Yakima to be with our Russell family. We drove over icy roads, through snow showers and zero visibility and finally arrived safe and sound in Yakima. We were greeted by our 4 year old niece Kate, jumping off my mom's lap and squeezing us tight, what a wonderful welcoming. That night, Christmas Eve night, Geoff, myself, mom, dad, Keri and Robby, played a rousing game of Pit, laughed until we cried and were just plain loud. It was a classic Russell family gathering, complete with lots of food, fun and laughter. Geoff and I played with our nieces, 4 year old Kate and 14 month old Annie. We giggled with them, tickled them and loved on them like any other good aunt and uncle. We were so thrilled to be there. At about 11:00pm we all crawled into bed and fell fast asleep.

The next morning, Christmas morning, I got up at around 7:00am, went into the living room and drank some coffee with my big brother Robby and my dad (one of my favorite things to do with them). We sat in the warm living room, I marveled at the tree and all the gifts, and giggled with Annie bell. At about 8:15am Brad and Sarah arrived to open presents with us. We ripped through each and every gift, filling mom and dad's living room with the torn remnants of wrapping paper. Gift after gift was opened. Ooo's and Ah's were heard all around. It was a great morning.

About halfway through the opening of the gifts, mom was handed three tiny boxes wrapped in red and white gift wrap. Each box was for mom. One was from Kate, one from Annie and the last one was from Parker. It was a gift that Keri and I had spoken about shortly after Thanksgiving. This was mom's Grandma necklace. Inside each of the boxes held the child's birthstone. It was precious. We all cried a little as mom opened each box. It was absolutely beautiful. Then following the opening of these three boxes, mom opened the gift from Geoff and I.

Shortly after Parker died, I decided I wanted to get my mom and mother-in-law the same necklace that I have, with one minor difference. Instead of having just Parker's name on it, I wanted all of their grandkids name's on them. So Geoff and I got Vanessa a necklace that has Natalie, Nathan and Parker's name tags on it as well as a pearl, and for my mom we got her a necklace that has Kate, Annie and Parker's name tags on it with a pearl. Both mom's loved the gift. It's something that Geoff and I cherish them having as well.

***

Christmas has been wonderful for Geoff and I. We have cherished everyone blessed moment with our families. We made an effort this year to make sure that Christmas was a joyous time. We didn't want to allow it to get eaten up in sadness.

I have always considered myself to be a "Glass totally full" kind of girl, and I wanted to hold true to that this Christmas. Geoff and I wanted to make sure that we didn't bury our emotions, but at the same time we wanted to make sure that our emotions didn't bury us. We wanted to experience the joys of Christmas that we have every single Christmas of our lives. We wanted to fully experience the joy of being around family. The joy of Christmas morning. The joy of giving and receiving. Ultimately, we wanted to be free of all sadness and grief, so that we could allow the true joy, the true joyful message of Christmas to resonate within us. We wanted to allow for the BIRTH of our Lord Jesus to be something that we didn't think about with pain, but rather with joy in our hearts, because that is what Christmas has, and always will be about for us, no matter what season of life we are going through.

Yes, we miss Parker, everyday we miss him and think about him But do we dread life even without him here? No. Do we dread the holidays since his death? No, not anymore. We look forward to more children, who will grow up knowing all about their big brother, Parker Geofferson Harmon and who will also grow up knowing the joy that, because Jesus came to this earth, they will some day get to meet their big brother face to face...

PRAISE THE LORD!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I Love Dr. Rudeen!!

Ever since Parker's death, I have discovered just how blessed Geoff and I are to have Dr. Rudeen as my OB/GYN.

On Thursday, Geoff and I went to visit with Dr. Rudeen about getting pregnant again. We had discussed this with him before, shortly after Parker's death, but I needed to hear it one more time.

Thursday, the 11th, at 4:00pm, Geoff and I met with Dr. Rudeen. We sat down, in the same exam room that we had always met with him, and discussed the risks of getting pregnant again.

Dr. Rudeen started off by addressing the normal risks associated with women my age and health level. Being that I am 25, have excellent health and blood pressure, and because I'm slightly overweight (working on that), I have the same risks as any other woman. I have the same risks, as any other woman, of having a baby with Downs Syndrome (1/600). Also, I have the same risks, as any other woman, of having a baby with a genetic defect of any kind (1/500). *whew*

In terms of having another stillbirth, my risks levels are slightly higher than the average woman simply because of my history. He then quickly followed up by saying that my chances of this happening again are very minute. *whew*

Then, Dr. Rudeen, continued by telling me that, once I get pregnant again, I have the choice of having an Ultra Test performed. This is where, between 9 and 12 weeks, Dr. Rudeen would take a sample of my blood and test it against several different genetic disorders. If the test comes back, showing that the baby has some sort of disorder, then I have the option, at 15 weeks, of having an Amnio. performed. Geoff and I aren't sure if that is something we plan on doing. Seeing as how Dr. Rudeen has no concern of us having a baby with any sort of genetic disorder, Geoff and I, more than likely, will not have this test performed.

Following the talk of testing, Dr. Rudeen went on to tell Geoff and I that he will perform extra ultrasounds for us. He will also, in the second or third trimester, have me take a non-stress test as well as hooking up a heart monitor to my belly to monitor the baby's heart. According to Dr. Rudeen, all of these will be performed for my peace of mind and not because he has any concerns of this happening again. *whew*

Finally, Dr. Rudeen stated that, due to Parker's size at 35 weeks (6lbs. 3oz.) the chances of Geoff and I having large babies is strong (Parker would have been upwards of 8lbs or more). Dr. Rudeen predicts our subsequent children weighing anywhere between 7 - 8lbs. Because of this fact, and also because I had a somewhat hard labor (2 1/2 hrs - 3 hrs of pushing), Dr. Rudeen is planning on inducing me between 10 to 14 days earlier than the baby's due date. This does not upset me one bit, in fact, it feels kind of like opening Christmas presents earlier! :) Plus, he plans on taking the next baby early to help with any anxieties I may have as the due date draws near. Dr. Rudeen also went on to say that, if I have any difficulty with the next delivery, he will not hesitate to perform a C-section (which also does not bother me). He said he wouldn't hesitate simply because of our history and the stress we've already been through.

All in all, it was a very reassuring and comforting doctor's visit. Dr. Rudeen simply stated, at the end of the appointment, the chances of us having another stillbirth is very very minute. He also stated that he will be treating me as high risk, simply for my peace of mind. As we were leaving the exam room Dr. Rudeen, stated once more, that we will definitely be able to have healthy, living babies and lots of them. *whew*

Following the appointment I felt like I was floating on cloud nine. Geoff and I were so happy with how positive the appointment had been. Whenever the day arrives, where Geoff and I are ready to start trying again, my fears will be minimal. I will have God and Dr. Rudeen walking Geoff and I through every step of that pregnancy, I simply cannot wait! :)

Praise the Lord!!

Faith

The definition of Faith according to Webster's dictionary: 2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion 2 b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust

***

Wednesday evening I made a decision to live IN faith. I have concluded that there is no better place or way to live, then by faith and faith alone. That is the only way that I will be able to survive another pregnancy. That is the only way I will be able to stay sane during my next pregnancy. So today, I tell you all this, so that I can be held accountable. Accountable to live IN my faith.

Let me explain a little further how I came to make this decision.

On Wednesday of this week I was talking with a friend of mine about the dream that I had and how I have been praying for our future little ones every chance I get. Then she brought up something that I have never thought of. She said, "You just need to have a little faith baby." It literally blew my mind. She then went on to say that I should thank God for the babies he will give Geoff and I. That I should thank God for the healthy children that we will bring home from the hospital.

So from this day forward, that is just what I plan on doing. I plan on living in faith and hope. Having faith that God will provide the things that Geoff and I hold dear to our hearts and hoping for the best.

Praise the Lord!!

Parker's Headstone

Here are the pictures of Parker's headstone. We decided that the music notes were a perfect representation of Geoff and I and what we had dreamed for Parker. The verse 2 Corinthians 12:9 is the verse that we have lived by since loosing our dear Parker Geofferson, it reads:

"9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Oh What a Dream...Hopefully It Will Come True

Just a quick one...

Have you ever awoke from a dream that made you lay there and say, "I hope that dream comes true"? In third grade I had a dream like that. It was of this boy, my crush for that particular week, we were playing on the playground and he ran up and kissed me. Then he grabbed my hand and asked if I'd like to be his girlfriend. Next thing I know, my mom's calling my name, telling me it's time to get up for school. *Poof* the dream is over. I desperately wanted to either sleep forever or have that dream come true, unfortunately neither happened. I went to school that day and the dream never came true.

Last night, I had another dream that made me lay in bed this morning hoping it will come true. The dream goes like this...

...I'm sitting in a chair holding a newborn baby. The baby looks similar to Parker, but I know that it's not Parker. The baby is wearing a red outfit. In my dream I can feel that the baby is very chunky and heavy (which is such a treat!). In my dream I can also see that the baby has just a skiff of hair. I'm not sure if the baby is a boy or a girl, but in my dream I'm feeling like it's a boy. Anyway, as I'm holding the baby, with one hand under their head, and the other under their rump, I'm staring at the baby's belly making sure it's breathing. In the background I hear Geoff say not to worry, that everything will be fine. I keep staring at the baby, examining the baby's face and then looking at the belly again to make sure the baby is breathing. Again, in the background Geoff tells me not to worry. Then the baby starts to cry, I can't hear the cries. I start to rock the baby gently as it slowly calms down and falls asleep. I continue to hold the baby, afraid to put the baby down, watching the baby's belly fall and rise. Geoff tells me, once more, that everything is fine and that I should let the baby sleep. That's it. The end. The alarm blared loud and I woke up.

What a beautiful dream. This was one of the most reassuring dreams I have had since Parker died. When I was pregnant with Parker I never had a dream like this. I never dreamt of holding Parker, never dreamt of having him here with us. So to have a dream of another baby, possibly one of our future little ones, is so SO reassuring!! Praise the Lord for reassuring dreams.