About Me

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Kirkland, Washington, United States
I am a child of God. I am a follower of Jesus. I am a wife, momma, daughter, sister and friend. I love good conversation and hearty laughter. A good cup of coffee is always appreciated. Most of all, I desire to bring others into an experience with Jesus. One that will shape their lives and rock their souls for Him. Geoff is my best friend and amazing husband. Parker is my handsome boy who lives in Heaven. Norah is my bright star and bringer of joy. Tori is my overcomer and peaceful warrior. I live to show Jesus' love to each person He places in my path. I pray this blog strengthens you, comforts you and encourages you and that it MOST OF ALL causes you to want to get to know Jesus in a deeper level.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Happy Easter

I have finally discovered why I have become so bad at posting lately, it's because I have been heaping TONS of pressure on myself to write profoundly. So, as of right now, I am throwing that pressure out the window and going back to the very roots of this blog, my ramblings...

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This Easter was a wonderful day filled with good food, an excellent sermon, and family and friends.

Every year I look forward to Easter, and I have to confess, it is for all the wrong reasons. I look forward to it for the new Easter outfit and for the delicious candy. This year; however, was different. My mind was more focused on something that my mom brought up on my Facebook page. She said, "Hi honey. I spent some time looking at Parker's book today...I really wasn't expecting to cry again...he is so precious and so are you & Geoff. I was thinking that Parker's Easter is pretty amazing too, don't you think? I love you. :)"

It had never dawned on me to think about the wonderful Easter celebration that must have been going on in Heaven. I am sure it would be a sight to see. It would be more beautiful than any sunrise service that anyone could ever imagine. It would be more powerful than the most powerful sermon ever preached. It would truly TRULY be a most magnificent experience and even though I miss him desperately, it is comforting to think about Parker being apart of that celebration. Thanks mom for the beautiful image.

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Happy Easter everyone! He is RISEN!! He is risen indeed.

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One more thing that I just have to add. Ever since loosing Parker people have asked Geoff and I how we are making it, how we seem to be doing so well and this is how I can only articulate it. God knows. God knows the pain that it is to loose a child. God knows that grief that over takes. Yes, Jesus' death was a different sort of death than Parker's; however, God still lost a son, his only son and in that way, he understands. He understands better than anyone else the pain that Geoff and I have gone through.

The Easter season, the weeks and days leading up to Jesus' glorious resurrection remind me of this. They remind me of the loss that God experienced when his son was nailed to the cross. And Easter also reminds me of how because of God sending his Son to die for our sins, Parker is not left to die and remain in his grave. He is in heaven with God and is taking part in that beautiful Easter celebration, worshipping our risen Savior.

AMEN!!

Thank you God!!

He has risen and because is has risen we have eternal life in heaven with him!

AMEN!!

John 3: 16 & 17 (I know we all learned these verses in Sunday school, but they are so good to read again every once in a while)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

A lot more to say then I thought, but it has been a while.

Wow!! So I'm really terrible with keeping up to date lately and I apologize. I really have no good excuse other than, my topics to write about are growing thin.

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Life is really good these days. Spring is here, the grass is turning green, Easter is on it's way and...well...life is good.

We are in our third month of grief counseling and are learning and growing so much. I cannot sing the praises of Willie enough, she has been a blessing!!

This past weekend (the 26th - 29th) my sister Sarah and brother-in-law Brad came to stay with us (along with their dog D.O.G., pronounced dee-oh-gee). We had so much fun with them. We shopped, ate, laughed, watch a movie, and just had an overall good time. They left Sunday morning the 29th and mom and dad arrived Sunday evening that same day.

Mom and dad stayed with us Sunday evening the 29th to Wednesday morning the 1st of april. We had tons of fun with them too. We shopped, ate, laughed, relaxed and had a general good time.

I love having family come visit. This was the first time since Parker died that we have had my family come for a visit. It was such a treat.

***

One of the things that we did with mom and dad while they were here was visit Parker's grave on Monday before heading to Eagle to have lunch with Geoff. Dad had his cell phone out and was taking pictures (with each picture his phone quacked, kind of funny), mom stood silently over his grave and marveled at how perfect the headstone was. We stood their for a moment, in hushed tones, and talked about his grave and headstone. I told them about Ronnie Lou, the daughter of Betty, a woman in our church, and how her grave was on the same row as Parker's. Ronnie Lou was born 50 years ago and lived for an hour and half. I have grown to truly love her mom Betty. She is a warrior in my book and someone who's grief I completely understand. A few weeks after getting back to church after Parker died, Betty approached me and gave me a hug. I mentioned to her how wonderful I thought it was that Ronnie Lou's grave was on the same row as Parker's and we cried together. She then shared with me the story of Ronnie Lou. I feel so priviledge to know Betty.

Anyway, while we stood there we scanned the headstones around Parker's. I saw the ones that I had seen before when visiting Parker's grave, but to the right of his grave was a new one and my heart broke. A beautiful little girl had died January 29th of this year. There was only one date, indicating that she had been stillborn like Parker. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Then, as I was staring in sadness at this little headstone, my eyes caught another one in the distance covered in plastic (which is what they do when they put in a new headstone). My heart shattered once more. I was moved to silence and disturbed at the same time.

I understand that death still happens. I understand that Parker is not the last baby that will be stillborn, but why does it have to continue to happen? Why can't our medical field figure this out enough to stop it? Why is it, that in the 21st century, stillbirth still baffles the medical community? It's really AGRAVATING and frankly it pisses me off!

As we walked to the car I told mom and dad about the headstone I saw and they were moved as well. While we were talking about the family of that precious baby that was stillborn on January 29th it hit me. The reason why the medical community is still baffled is because stillbirth is still STILL a hushed subject. Very few people want to talk about or even remember babies that have died. AND YET if we do not continue to talk about these precious babies, if we do not put a face to stillbirth, it will continue to baffle.

I know I am but one person; however, I strongly believe that we can move mountains on this with the help of God and each other. I believe that we need to make stillbirth something that is as well known as the fight to end childhood diabetes. We need to make stillbirth something that is as well known as breast cancer or heart disease. Stillbirth needs to be brought out onto the main stage and NOT kept in the dark. It happens, it hurts, but it doesn't have to be hushed. We need to work to educate everyone everywhere on the subject of stillbirth so that together we can work towards figuring out how to decrease the number of babies that die each year.

Pray with me on this. Pray with me on how best to bring this out in the open. And please continue to pray for nonprofit that my Uncle is helping me start.

***

So I guess I had a lot more to say, thanks for listening to my ramblings. LOVE YOU GUYS!

OH, one more thing. I wanted to share a new verse that I am working on memorizing. It is Romans 8:24-25
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

Give me patience God.

Amen.