Have you ever talked to someone who just made you feel like a moron? Someone who totally made you feel unprepared, incompetent and completely defeated? Well that happened to me the other night.
To preface this story a little, I need to begin by explaining that I have decided to be a working mom *gasp*. I know, it's a pretty modern decision and one that no other mom, in the history of the U.S. and the WORLD for that matter, has ever made before, at least, that's how people treat me. Every time I tell anyone that I have decided to keep working after Parker is born, I get the same reaction..."oh you just wait..." I HATE IT!!! That's basically what this story is about...
Two nights ago I ran into a woman who we will call "Kay". She's a Christian woman that I have met only one time before. I have had dealings with her, but not very often. Usually when we talk it's about issues regarding the Credit Union and what not. Anyway, this particular night she asked how my pregnancy was going and when I was due. I told her everything was going great and that I have been really blessed with a pretty easy pregnancy. She then asked me if I lived in Nampa, to which I replied, yes. This is when she gets personal. With wide eyes and a very over exaggerated reaction she says "Oh WOW! That's such a hard commute!" To which I replied, "It's actually not that bad. The only time of year I dread is the winter." Kay then replies, "yeah, but you'll miss most of that when you leave to have your baby right?" I explain that I'll be leaving the middle of October and returning to work the middle of December. To which her eyes get wide AGAIN. She then says, "OH WOW!!" (louder than the first time)
This is when I got angry. After exclaiming her disbelief that I would be returning to work, I quickly reply by explaining that I'll be coming back somewhat part time. She then throws her head back and laughs out loud (I'm so not making this up...I wish I was). Kay, after regaining her composure says, "Somewhat part time?" I reply, "Well yeah, I'll be working a minimum of 32 hours a week." She then tosses her head back once more, laughs even louder and says, "Oh and you work how much now?" (in a very sarcastic tone) I reply, "I work 40 hours now." She tosses her head back again, laughs extremely loud (still so NOT making this up) and says "Oh OK." to which she rolls her eyes, and says "Good luck with that."
I was fuming mad. I had visions of punching this woman in the throat. How dare she completely demean and defeat me like that. What's even worse is she's not the first woman I have come into contact with who has defeated me regarding being a working mom. Some of the most popular responses I get are, "Oh well, when that baby comes you'll change your mind" or "That's what you think now, but you just wait." Each one just makes me want to prove them wrong more and more.
(Just a sad side note, each of the woman that have opposed my decision to be a working parent, each one that made me feel guilty, defeated, incompetent and who completely demeaned me were all Christian women...how sad and tragic.)
This is a decision that I made way before I knew I was pregnant. I have always wanted to be a career woman, and a fellow contributor to the household income. I do not believe this makes me a bad mommy. I also do not believe this sets Parker up for a hard life. I plan on being very active in my son's life. I am blessed by the fact that Sue, my boss at the Credit Union, as allowed me to have the mornings to be with Parker. I am also blessed by the fact that I don't have to work on the weekends. On top of all those blessings, my friend Jenica has blessed Geoff and I by stepping up and offering to watch Parker during the day. All these blessings, I believe, come from God, blessing my decision to continue working.
I completely understand that there will be days, maybe even entire weeks, where I will wish that I was home. Days where I will wish I could just hang out with my boys. Days where I will cry on my way to work because I may be feeling guilty about leaving Parker. But above all that, I know that my working will give Geoff and I the ability to provide the things that Parker needs and the ability to live comfortably. For me, that far out weighs any stupid comments I receive from stupid people.
- Kirkland, Washington, United States
- I am a child of God. I am a follower of Jesus. I am a wife, momma, daughter, sister and friend. I love good conversation and hearty laughter. A good cup of coffee is always appreciated. Most of all, I desire to bring others into an experience with Jesus. One that will shape their lives and rock their souls for Him. Geoff is my best friend and amazing husband. Parker is my handsome boy who lives in Heaven. Norah is my bright star and bringer of joy. Tori is my overcomer and peaceful warrior. I live to show Jesus' love to each person He places in my path. I pray this blog strengthens you, comforts you and encourages you and that it MOST OF ALL causes you to want to get to know Jesus in a deeper level.