More babies for Geoff and I? YUP, you bet!

Monday, it was a good day.


Monday morning I got up with Geoff and got ready for the day. Geoff and I had talked about the possibility of me going to work with him, but I decided that I was feeling good enough to be alone. So I drove Geoff to work, helped him set up his thank you for the River Valley staff (tons of little bite size candy bars and a thank you card in the middle), and then headed off to spend the morning with myself.


When I got back to Nampa, I headed straight home, grabbed my book and left the house for Flying M (a wonderful local coffee shop) to have a little "me time".


I walked into Flying M, scanned the room to see if there was anyone I knew, and got in line to get my coffee. I grabbed my double tall latte, raspberry scone and headed to the nearest empty couch. I curled up, ate my scone and started thinking. Thinking always gets me in trouble these days. I started thinking about how Geoff and I had talked about bringing Parker here with us on the weekends. It was hard to remember that. I took a deep breath and finished my scone. I grabbed my book, opened it up and began to read while I sipped on my latte. It felt good to dive into the book and get lost. I read for what felt like forever, but realized it had only been an hour. When I looked at my watch I saw that it was 10:20. Geoff would have a break in 20 minutes, so I decided to get in the car, drive to Eagle, call Geoff and do some shopping.


It took no time to get to Eagle. I called Geoff to see when he wanted to get together for lunch and what he wanted to have. While I was standing in the middle of Old Navy talking to Geoff it dawned on me who is usually shopping at this time of day...stay at home moms. I felt like I was surrounded by moms and there babies. It felt like the walls were caving in. I tried to make light of it by telling Geoff that all the rich stay at home moms were out shopping, but that didn't really work. I never thought that I would react that way towards stay at home moms, but I was jealous and envious. I was coveting the life they had. I took a deep breath and finished talking with my husband. He decided that he wanted me to surprise him for lunch and that we would meet at 11:25. We said our "love you"s and goodbyes and hung up. I browsed my way through Old Navy, bought a cute orange shirt and headed towards Claire's and Bath and Body Works. I wrapped up my shopping, grabbed lunch for Geoff and I at Panda Express and headed to his school.


I know I have said this before, but I love the staff of people that Geoff works with. Everyone is wonderful. I was able to walk in, sign in and head straight to Geoff's room. We ate together and laughed so hard we were crying (good tears, tears of laughter). It was a great lunch. One of the many good things that has come out of this tragedy is how much our love has grown for each other. We are more in love now than we have ever been before.


On Sunday, I realized just how in love I am with him. He truly is my knight in shining armor. He is my rock and my steadfast friend. Monday night, as we were trying to wind down from a somewhat stressful evening, I laid my head on his lap and we talked. I told him that I believe God brought Geoff into my life because he knew how good of a balance that Geoff would be and is for me. Plus, God knew that Geoff would give me beautiful babies some day :). Geoff is my one true love, now more than ever before and I am so thankful for him.


After lunch, I went to Boise Towne Square mall and shopped some more. I called my sister, bought my mom a birthday gift and headed back to Geoff's school to pick him up to head to our doctor's appointment, it was 3:20.


We arrived, 10 minutes late to our doctor's appointment. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating like crazy. I was a nervous, anxious mess of emotions. We walked in and I informed the receptionist that we were there to see Dr. Rudeen. We then turned and walked to our seats, the waiting room was empty. As soon as I sat down, my emotions got the best of me and I began to cry. I cried because the sounds, smells and memories of that place came flooding back. The last time I had been in that waiting room, I was still pregnant and Parker was still alive with a heart rate of 145 bpm. I could not control myself. I tried to take a deep breath, but it just didn't work. Geoff grabbed my hand and I squeezed it for dear life. We walked into the exam room, and my nurse Polly gave me hug and I cried some more. She took my blood pressure and we waited for Dr. Rudeen.


When Dr. Rudeen came in, he immediately got right to the tests. That's what this appointment was all about. Dr. Rudeen, following Parker's birth, had sent the placenta and umbilical cord in for testing and we were there to hear the results. According to Dr. Rudeen, the tests brought back nothing conclusive, other than it appeared that there may have been a hemorrhage. Our doctor also went over my blood tests that had been administered while I was at the hospital. All of them came back just fine. Basically, after all the medical jargon, Geoff and I found out that there was nothing wrong with us genetically. That Parker's death was a fluke. I was prepared for this. I had found out that the majority of parents who have been through what Geoff and I have been through, never get answers.

I then asked Dr. Rudeen, as my doctor, how he would feel about me getting pregnant again. Without even pausing to think Dr. Rudeen responded immediately by saying that Geoff and I can have healthy babies. He then said that after 28 years of practice he's never had a stillbirth happen two times to one woman. That was SO reassuring. Whenever Geoff and I are ready to start trying again, and whenever we get pregnant again, I will be considered high risk, simply because Parker was stillborn. They will follow my pregnancy closely. Run various tests if I want them too. They will simply walk side by side with me to make sure that I feel reassured. That was so helpful to hear. I cried through the entire appointment. I was able to thank Dr. Rudeen for how wonderful he was during those days in the hospital. I was also able to laugh with Dr. Rudeen about how big he predicts our next baby to be (he's predicting 8 or more lbs). The whole appointment was very VERY reassuring. We then got home and got dinner from Pizza Hut and unwound.

I am so thankful for how God has been so good to Geoff and I during these past few weeks. I am so thankful for how he has helped Geoff and I make it through. Monday was a good day for Geoff and I. I was so proud of myself that I was able to be by myself during the majority of the day. It was a good day. I was so relieved to hear that Geoff and I can still have beautiful babies. I was so relieved to hear that the potential for us to have another baby is high! I am so thankful. Monday was such a good day.

I still miss my Parker Geofferson. I still cry for my son, but the hope of more children, and the strength that God provides through that hope, is what gets us through. I am still terrified to be pregnant again, that's normal, but I know that some day, some day soon, Geoff and I will have that chance. And I know that God will be there, walking right beside us, helping us every step of the way, just as he has always done. PRAISE GOD!

Sunday, better then I thought

Today, Sunday, was a good day.

Sunday started bright and early at 7:30am. I got up, made coffee, opened up the house and relaxed for a bit on the couch. Mom was getting her things together and getting ready for the day. At about 7:45 I woke Geoff up and started getting ready for the day as well. I showered, got dressed and helped mom get her things together to head off to the airport. The ride to the airport was full of conversation. We told stories about meeting various sports celebrities and laughed. It was a good drive. When we arrived at the airport, mom got checked in at Southwest. We grabbed a soda and sat and talked some more. At 10:00am we hugged mom, cried a little and said our goodbyes.

I am so thankful that my mom was able to stay with us for the past two weeks. I am so thankful for my wonderful, WONDERFUL relationship with my mom. She really is one of my very best friends. Last night, as we were watching Return to Me (such a good good movie), I started to feel a little blue. That's the only way I can describe it. I was blue. At first, I couldn't figure out why I was so blue, but after a while I realized why, I was already starting to miss my mom.

I have lived in Idaho for about 6 years now. I moved here in 2002 to attend NNU and have lived here ever since. I always told people that it was far enough away to feel like I was moving away from home, but close enough to where if I needed my family for anything, they were just a days drive away. I never really felt far from my family. However, lately I have felt like there is an ocean between us. So last night, mom and I were sitting on my bed, talking about the new picture we had just hung on the wall (a beautiful black and white print of a tree with no leaves). All of a sudden I blurted out, "Mom, I'm not ready for you to leave, and I'm not ready to go back to church. I'm just not ready." Mom responded by saying, "I'm not ready to leave either." She walked over to where I was sitting and just hugged me. I cried and she cried. We talked about how she would have her cell phone on all the time, for whenever I needed to talk. She told me that I could also just hop in the car and come see her whenever Geoff and I wanted to. And then we cried some more. Geoff eventually came in and laid down on the bed behind me and wrapped his arm around me. We cried. It was another one of those cleansing cries, but my heart still hurt even after. Mom, Geoff and I went back out into the living room and finished our movie and then started watching Cheaper By The Dozen.

I will miss my mom and dad, but I know that they are only a phone call away. I also know that they are only less then a days drive away. They are my foundation that has helped Geoff and I through this grieving process. Geoff and I will be forever grateful for them and all that they have done for us (Mark and Vanessa as well). God has truly blessed Geoff and I with the best parents, and we are eternally grateful for that.

As we left the airport, I cried and hugged my Geoff. We walked outside, got in the car and headed back to Nampa and to church. I was dreading going to church. I had told Geoff earlier that morning that I was not looking forward to church. I was not ready to see people at church and to talk with people at church. I was dreading church. As far as I was concerned, staying at home today would have been more than OK; however, I knew that I was only delaying the inevitable.

We got off the freeway and pulled down the street that the church is on. My heart started racing. My heart started racing and my palms sweating as we walked into church. Geoff and I walked in, I held his hand and glued myself to his side. I told him that he could never, ever leave my side (even as he was in the bathroom, I waiting outside for him). The service had started so we sat in the back (which was actually what I had requested). People's heads turned and I knew that they were looking at us, but I didn't want to make eye contact, I wasn't ready. We sang a few hymns and then had greeting time. DANG IT! I thought we had missed greeting time. Geoff and I stood up and were inundated by people coming over and hugging us. I was not ready for that. I know that that is how they show they care, but I was not ready.

So I hugged what felt like everyone in the church. Some people were good about hugging us and smiling, but others got a little "misty eyed". I was SO not ready for that. There's something about people coming up to me crying that upsets me. I just want to tell them that we are doing really good considering. I want to tell them that they don't need to be sad because all hope is SO NOT lost. I just want to shake them and tell them the verse that has helped Geoff and I get through this, 2 Corinthians 12:9 (read it, so good, so true, so helpful). But I have to remind myself that that is how some people are. Geoff also had to remind me that many of these people probably don't think about us and what we have been through until they see us. I get that, but it's still hard to get used to. The service continued and my father-in-law Mark delivered a wonderful sermon. It, in all honesty, started to feel normal being there.

After the service, Geoff and I stuck close by one another and once again we were surrounded by people, so much so that we couldn't barely leave the pew we were sitting in. I, again, started to feel a little overwhelmed. However, I was glad that some of our friends came up to talk with us. I got to have a normal conversation with Corrie about Alexandria's molars coming in, that felt good. It also felt good to talk with Kara about Parker and about how I have bounced back so well physically. But the thing that blew me away the most was that I was doing just fine. I wasn't melting into a puddle of tears. I wasn't feeling angry, like I thought I would. I wasn't wanting to run and hide. I was doing just fine. I got to hug people that I wanted to hug. I got to laugh with people that I wanted to laugh with. Most of all, I got to feel normal. I harassed Alan about being cuter then him. I laughed with Carol about how excited I was for the Pizza Hut certificates. It felt really good. At one point, I looked and realized that Geoff had left my side. When I found him, he looked at me from across the sanctuary and asked if I was OK. I smiled and nodded. I was more then OK, I was doing really good. As I told Alan, "It feels good to be back. It feels great in fact, because it's normal."

So today was another good day. It was another triumphant step along the road toward healing and our new normal. No, I'm not ready to go back to Wednesday night Bible Study and Game Night. No, I'm not quite ready to have people over. And no, I'm not ready to hang out. But I'm ready to start heading that way. I'm ready to take baby steps and eventually get back to all that. But for now, I'll sit at home, on the couch, with my sleeping husband, watching Sunday afternoon football and feel proud for what I've accomplished today, which is one more step, one more triumphant step with God along the road toward healing and our new normal. PRAISE THE LORD!

Minor Victories

Today was a pretty good day.

Mom and I went to Geoff's school and took him lunch from McDonald's. We ate in the teacher's lounge at River Valley with the 2nd and 3rd grade teachers. I was so impressed by how each and every one of them treated us. They were perfectly normal, and it felt really good. I had two of the teachers approach me and ask how I was doing. One of them was the PE teacher Kim. For some reason, I thought I had to answer with a witty comment, so I blurted out, "I'm doing good! I was able to button and zip my jeans this morning, my pre-pregnancy jeans so that's good! Minor victories, minor victories." She sort of looked at me and responded with, "Good, OK..." I think I sort of, may have made her feel awkward.

After finishing lunch, mom and I went to the mall and did a little therapeutic shopping. We walked through Macy's and looked at the jewelry. We then headed to Claire's, the one store where I know mom and I could do some serious damage, but we behaved. After Claire's mom and I went into Lane Bryant. We shopped and shopped and as mom was trying on clothes I was hit with a test.

Mom headed into the fitting room and I told her that "we" would be waiting. Evidently my "we" triggered the saleslady to believe that I was pregnant. She asked when I was due to which I replied, "I'm sorry what?" She then repeated herself and I felt my face turn bright bright red. I said, "Oh I'm not pregnant." She then turned a brighter shade of red and said, "I'm so sorry." I then quickly said, "I actually just had my son about a week and half ago so I probably look pregnant because of the loose skin you know." And then I poked my stomach and laughed a little nervous laugh, face still bright red. The saleslady sighed a sigh of relief and said, "Oh, well, congratulations." I then quickly asked if she had any kids. She told me about her 10 year old son and I was relieved. Relieved to not have to awkwardly explain why my son wasn't with me. She walked off and I sat there for a moment, stared at myself in the mirror, pinched my fat and thought about how proud I was of myself. Mom was rejoicing in the fitting room over her find, while I was rejoicing over my ability to successfully navigate such an awkward situation. Mom and I then left Lane Bryant and headed on through the mall to finish our shopping.

One beautiful red scarf, and several other great purchases later, mom and I walked out of the mall and headed to pick up Geoff from work. We got home and got ready to head back out to Applebee's for dinner, mom's treat. We ate a delicious meal of nachos, mozzarella sticks, chicken quesadilla and dinner salads all around. We were stuffed. As we ate, we talked about everything from Geoff's students to our beautiful Parker. As we talked I thought about how proud I was of Geoff and I to be able to sit at dinner and talk about our boy Parker with no tears and no sadness. I also thought about how anyone who was overhearing us probably thought we were in a state of denial with how easily we were talking about him.

I am so thankful for God's goodness and strength to be able to talk about our son. I am so thankful for his strength and continued healing. It was a great conversation. We reminisced about how chubby Parker already was at only 35 weeks. We talked about had he been carried full term he would have been around 9lbs at birth (WOW!). We talked about how much hair he had and how it was a little curly. It was a great conversation with no tears, and no sadness. We laughed about how Geoff said that I could never get rid of him, especially since we know now that he can give me such beautiful babies (it's true, I can't get rid of him, he's too wonderful). We talked about how each of our babies are probably going to be chubby, beautiful babies, just like our Parker. It was a great GREAT conversation. We grabbed our leftovers and headed home.

When we arrived home mom started painting the paver that would read "The Harmons, Geoff, Rachel, Opie, Parker". Mom painted most of the background color, which is the same blue as Parker's nursery and I finished it. After painting Parker's paver, that will sit at the base of Parker's October Glory tree, I got to icing the cookies that we'll take to Mercy Medical Center and Alsip's Funeral home. We made two huge chocolate chip cookies that each read, "Thank you, the Harmons". These are for the nurses at Mercy and the staff of Alsip's who helped us so much last week (truly, it's only been a little over a week since this all began...amazing).

While I was icing the cookies, I wondered about what mom was doing. She didn't really respond, so I inquired a little further. When I walked toward the bathroom, where she was, I found out that she was washing the clip of Parker's hair that the nurses had saved for us. She was being so delicate and careful. I immediately was struck by how much I missed him. I began to feel my eyes burn. I tried to swallow back the tears, but it just didn't work. I cried for my Parker. I said thank you to mom and she said, "Oh, it's my pleasure. I would have been washing his hair if he was here, so this is my pleasure. There's no way I could have left without doing this." I lost it after that. I walked into the living room, where Geoff was sitting on the couch paying bills and told him I needed him to hug me. He cleared off his lap, where I curled up. I held my Geoff and we cried, we cried for what felt like forever. I told him we have to have more babies, maybe 5 or 10 kids. We cried for our boy. We cried for each other. We cried. It's amazing how crying really is cleansing. After that cry, I honestly felt rejuvenated. I felt like it was one less cry to deal with. I felt like after crying we were one more step further along in the healing process.

After I got up off the couch, and gave Geoff his lap back, I looked at the clock and turned it to NBC to watch the Office season premier. The Office is great therapy. Geoff and I laughed the entire time. I need more of the Office, more Dwight, Jim, Pam (YAY there ENGAGED!), more Michael, Stanley, Kevin. I need more of all of them. They make me laugh and they are a great diversion.

Today has been a good day. Today I was able to laugh, cry, be entertained and healthfully reminisce. Today I was reminded of how great God is, and how much he has truly helped Geoff and I through this whole process. Today is one more step along the road toward healing and our new normal. Praise the Lord!!

Today...starting the new normal

Today was a good day. A good day that started out rough, but slowly got better.

I woke up today at 7:05 with my husband. He was getting ready to go back to work. I'm so proud of him. It felt like the first day of school...for me anyway. The nerves, anxieties and excitement were all present feelings; however, I'm not sure how Geoff felt. As he was getting ready, I went out into the living room and sat on the couch with my mom. The Today show was playing in the background as we watched Geoff put on his motorcycle gear. He walked over and gave me a kiss goodbye. All of a sudden I felt this rush of emotions flood over me. I was instantly hit with the fact that he should have been picking up our baby, giving him a kiss and talking to him goofy or something. I choked back the tears, smiled up at Geoff and gave him a kiss goodbye. He walked out the door and I cuddled on the couch next to mom.

I started to doze off when mom suggested that I go back to bed and rest some more. So I went to my room and laid down. My mind raced through several thoughts. One of which was how on earth can I start to feel normal. I just want to be and feel normal again. My eyes started to burn and I couldn't hold it back any longer. The tears flooded out. The emotions ran down my cheeks and I wept. My mom came in, sat on the bed and rubbed my back just like she did when I was a little girl. She hushed my tears and told me to breath. I slowly started to calm down. I told her I wanted to feel normal. She responded by asking what is normal? Normal is having a baby to hold, feed, love, kiss, coo at, that's normal. At least, that's what normal should have been. Mom pointed out that normal is different now. That I'll have to create a new normal. No, Geoff and I will have to start creating a new normal. We will need to create a new definition, a new sense of normal. I finally relaxed enough to doze off and fall to sleep.

I got up at about 11:00 and got ready for the day. As I stood in the shower I prayed for stregnth and happy feelings. I put on my clothes and continued to pray for stregnth and happy feelings. Those came when I put on my jeans, my pre-pregnancy jeans and found that they are starting to fit more. I still have to rubberband them, but they're fitting better!! ;) (minor victories are good victories AMEN)

Anyhow, dad, mom and myself went to coffee at Flying M. As I sat there, drinking my double tall latte, we talked a little more about being "normal". Dad told me that what I was experiencing was perfectly normal. Not only was I more than likely experiencing normal post partum, but I was experiencing normal amounts of grief on top of that. We talked about how it was perfectly normal for me to cry over my son's death. That it was perfectly normal for me to have small things, like Geoff getting ready for work, trigger thoughts of saddness. This was my normal, for right now. Dad then quickly said that Geoff and I, once everyone left, would start creating our new normal. I cannot wait for that.

After Flying M, mom and I said goobye to dad. He drove home today back to Yakima, mom heads back next Sunday. (I thank the Lord that my dad and mom were able to stay so long. I could not have gotten this far without them.) Mom and I headed to the credit union, where I was going to see some of my coworkers for the first time. As I pulled into the parking lot my heart began to race and my palms began to sweat. Mom asked if I wanted her to go in with me and I told her I would be fine. I sort of rehearsed what I might say or do if anyone tried to approach me, hug me or say anything to me. Mom told me to just breath and get going.

I walked in, hands sweaty, heart racing. I filled out the deposit slip, hands sweating, heart racing, hands shaking. I breathed. No one walked up, no one said anything, I was relieved. I approached Jonnie's counter. Put my deposit down and breathed. Jonnie grabbed my hands, and told me that she'd been thinking and praying for me. She then said, "that's all I'm going to say because then I'll start crying and you'll start crying and we don't want that." I smiled, held my breath, and said a quiet thanks. With my deposit complete I quickly headed back to the car. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Mom asked how it went and I told her it went fine. I was so thankful to have made it through that. I started the car and we headed to WalMart.

We ran a few more errands, bought a few fun things (two apple paintings from Lemon Tree, an autumn candle and beautiful leaf plate), and headed home. I was so proud of myself for making it through all the errands. I had run into a few people and handled it with grace and ease. The Lord was right there beside me through it all.

We got home and started hanging up the pictures we had purchased, put out the autumn decorations we bought and cleaned the house. I was starting to feel normal. Mom and I laughed, cleaned and talked while Bill Evans played in the background. I lit my mulled cider candle and unwound. It was a great afternoon after a rough morning.

Geoff got home, told me about his day, about how the first graders were the only ones who really asked any questions. They asked if our baby was a boy or a girl, if our baby died, etc. I was so proud of Geoff that he was able to handle it with a smile. Geoff also told me about how his coworkers were so welcoming and loving. Geoff was starting to feel normal.

The road to our new normal runs on the same path of the road towards healing. Geoff and I are headed down that road. Along the road we'll see and run into people who will either help us or drive us crazy. Along the road we'll see and run into things that will remind us of Parker and it might be hard or it may make us smile. Along the road we'll find ourselves and we'll start our new normal. I can't wait.

Healing is slow, but good

As I sit here, in my living room, I am surrounded by love. I have my dad to my left, my husband stretched out on the couch beside me, my mom working on laundry and my Opus zonked out on the floor.

Today marks a week since Parker's birth. A week ago today at 7:15pm we met our son and said goodbye. What a long week it has been. I feel like I have lived through a lifetime of moments during this week. I have experienced the joys of pregnancy and the devastation of losing your child. I have experienced the pains of labor and the pain of saying goodbye to my son. What a week it has been. With all that has taken place this week, Geoff and I have still found time to begin the healing process.

We made the choice to have Parker's funeral on Thursday the 18th of last week so that we could begin the healing process, however strange that may sound. We decided that we did not want to draw this pain out any longer. We felt that as soon as we began saying goodbye, that that meant we could begin to say hello. So Friday, the 19th Geoff and I began the long road toward healing.

That morning we woke up slowly, feeling like we had just been hit by a 10,000 ton truck. My brother Rob, his wife Keri and their girls, along with my sister Sarah and her husband Brad and my Aunt Claudia, began to make their way to our house slowly. I believe they wanted to give us some space, but thankfully they didn't stay away too long. They arrived at the house and we got ready to head off to Cracker Barrel to have brunch. There we ate, laughed and shopped together. What a therapeutic time. Each meal meant more laughter and more conversation.

During this particular meal, my brother asked the question that I believe was weighing on every one's minds, "So, when are you guys gonna get back on the horse?" We laughed, looked at each other and both blurted out that we are kind of scared. Then we quickly said that as soon as my doctor gave me the green light, and as soon as we felt ready, we would start trying again. I was very proud of us to even be able to think of having more children. That to me was a sign that we had begun to heal slowly...slowly.

Another conversation that struck me as a "good sign" happened yesterday. Yesterday was a hard day, a VERY hard day. Yesterday, Sunday, marked a week since we had been to the hospital. It was a week ago yesterday that Geoff and I got the awful news that our son Parker had died en utero. Yesterday was a hard day. However, we had a conversation yesterday regarding Parker's nursery and what we would do when we were ready to pack up his clothes and things. We talked about how we would take the crib apart and how we would put the changing table away. We talked about buying a container for his clothes and a container for his memorial. Now, mind you, this does not mean that Geoff and I are going to pack up his nursery tomorrow, no, but it was very encouraging that we were even able to discuss it. That to me marked another step along the road to healing...slowly...slowly...slowly.

The last and final thing to happen that struck me as a "good sign" happened today. Today was a little better than yesterday. Today I only had one moment where I really broke down and missed my son. That happened when I was tidying up Parker's nursery. It had kind of become a dumping ground of gifts that had been brought in two Friday's ago (gifts like, a bouncer, bibs, cute Halloween outfits, etc.). It had also become a dumping ground of flower arrangements from the funeral, cards that we had received, and pieces that Geoff and I wanted to hold onto to memorialize Parker. So I decided to tidy up. It was during this time that I broke down and cried for my son Parker. This was not the "good sign" that came later in the day when Geoff and I went to buy Parker's headstone.

We pulled into the parking lot and were greeting by several beautiful headstones. My heart was doing fine. Geoff and I held hands as we walked the path toward the front door to Hanson's Memorial. We walked in and sat down at the desk. The man on the other side of the desk from us asked what we were needing. I calmly said, "We need a headstone for our son." I then thought, I am so proud of myself for being able to say that. We then went through the motions of picking out the best design for the headstone. We went with something very simple. We put his full name, date of birth and death and the scripture reference for 2 Corin. 12:9 (the verse that has helped Geoff and I through all of this). Every now and then I would reach out and touch my husband's leg and give his hand a squeeze. I would find myself staring at him and admiring how he and I were able to calmly get through this.

As we left Hanson's Memorial, holding hands, Geoff and I marveled at how we got through that with no tears. I was so proud of us. We had truly showed that we were well into the healing process. That we were able to make it through picking out a headstone for our son, something that no parent should ever have to experience, this showed me that we were one more step into the healing process...slowly...slowly...slowly...slowly.

So we're doing this. We are healing with grace, patience and the reality that this is going to be the hardest path traveled of our lives. We are learning and growing through all of this. We are realizing that tears are healthy, sadness is normal and having faith and leaning heavy on the Lord is the only way.

So slowly...slowly...slowly...slowly...slowly we heal, together, with God.

Blessed and Thankful

Where do I begin this blog. I'll start off with talking about my son. Parker Geofferson Harmon was born at 7:15pm on Monday the 15th of September at Mercy Medical Center in Nampa, ID. He weighed in at 6lbs 3oz and 20 1/2 inches long. Mind you he was only 35 weeks along. He was going to be a large baby :). He had a full head of dark hair and a beautiful little mouth. He had a button nose like his daddy and long feet and fingers like his mommy. He was beautiful and perfect in every way. Geoff and I were and are very thankful for that.

We are also thankful for our nurses at Mercy. From the moment we walked into labor and delivery at 6:00pm on Sunday night the 14th we were assisted by some of the best nurses. Deborah and Nicole were the ones who had the unpleasant task of being present when Geoff and I received our devastating news that Parker's heart wasn't beating. However, they were both Christian women who informed us that they would be praying for us throughout this time. Our night nurses were Ingrid and Jane. Jane was very soft spoken and pleasant and Ingrid had a very warm and caring personality that showed itself in a smile every time she walked in (which, let me tell you, helped TONS during that night). Monday morning brought the most stellar nurse of them all, Carrie. We were her only patients that day. We found out that not only had she herself experienced what Geoff and I were going through (she had had stillborn twins), but that her mother had just died back in March and we were her first distress case since her mother's death. I believe that she was an answer to pray and was brought to us by God. She was so helpful, answering questions about what Parker may look like when he was born, how we can start the healing process, and what options were available in terms of support groups. Carrie's shift started at 7am on Monday the 15th and ended 12 hours later; however, she didn't leave our sides until 9pm that night (she had an hour commute back to Nyssa that night as well). She was an amazing nurse for us and a real answer to prayer. Our night nurse was Julie who was very caring and helpful. As my mom put it, she helped to tuck us all in for the night, bringing in an extra cot for Geoff and more blankets and pillows for mom, dad and Geoff. She was wonderful. The other Carrie was our morning nurse for Tuesday the 16th. She brought us a delicious meal provided by the hospital and helped get us ready to check out. All in all, the nurses that assisted us, Deborah, Nicole, Ingrid, Jane, Carrie P., Julie and Carrie were all wonderful women. Geoff and I will be forever thankful to that staff of nurses at Mercy.

Dr. Rudeen is my OB/GYN. He is a very soft spoken, gentle doctor, I guess that kind of helps in his line of work :). He has been so amazing during this entire pregnancy. He has answered all of our questions with patience, seeing as how I worried about everything. He has simply been wonderful during my entire pregnancy. However, I believe I truly saw how amazing Dr. Rudeen was when my son was born. On Sunday, they called Dr. Rudeen in to come and run an ultrasound because Deborah and Nicole couldn't bring up Parker's heartbeat on the monitor. Dr. Rudeen came in in shorts and his crocs and got right to work. He moved the ultrasound around my belly and stopped. He then delivered the most devastating news in the most gentle way possible. He informed me that all four chambers of Parker's heart were not moving. In other words, our son had passed sometime in the past couple of days. His heart broke just as mine and Geoff's hearts were breaking. He then came, sat on the side of my bed and informed me of my choices. We decided on starting the induction process that night. After we talked, Dr. Rudeen squeezed my hand and told me we can still have healthy babies, that stillbirths are very rare. He then gave me a hug and told me he'd be praying for Geoff and I. I was floored at the warmth and kindness that came through Dr. Rudeen. My heart was moved and blessed.

The next day, Monday, Dr. Rudeen showed up at 8:30am to check and see how we were doing both in terms of my labor and my mental health (as well as Geoff's). He told us that he would be in and out checking on us throughout the day to see how my progress was developing. At about 4pm Monday, Dr. Rudeen came in and we got to pushing. He was in and out during the 3 hours that I was pushing. When the time came to deliver Parker, he was right there. He gently laid Parker on my chest as everyone in the room cried. He finished his work and then stayed for a bit afterward. He told me I did a great job (which was, in all it's weirdness, very comforting). He then told me that after looking at the umbilical cord and placenta that it was his cord that appeared to have failed Parker. Not only was it not tightly wound, but it was bright red showing that a hemorrhage had occurred sometime in the past couple of days. Also, the cord was short, which is a common trait amongst stillborn babies. All of these things would never have showed up on an ultrasound. When Dr. Rudeen informed us of these things, he followed it up quickly by saying that we can have healthy babies and as soon as we are ready we can sit down and talk with him. Geoff and I are so thankful for Dr. Rudeen, he will ALWAYS be my OB/GYN as long as he is still in practice.

Our families were present with us during this entire process from that awful Sunday night; when my mother-in-law Vanessa showed up right after we received our devastating news, to Thursday the 18th when we laid our son to rest at Kohlerlawn in Nampa. Our family has been by our side this entire time, through each tear and depressed moment. As I said before, Vanessa came to the hospital as soon as Geoff and I found out the awful news. Later that evening, she picked up Mark and brought him to our room. Grady and my cousin Mandy showed up at about 7 or 8 that night. They all stayed until my parents arrived at 12:30am that Monday morning (Mandy didn't actually leave until about 1 or 1:30am). Mom, dad, Mark, Vanessa, Grady and Mandy were present during each hour of those two and a half days that we were at Mercy. They offered laughter and diverting conversation as well as arms to hug and shoulders to cry on. Our moms were then present for Parker's birth. They assisted in holding up my legs and encouraging Geoff and I every step of the way during those three hours of pushing. They helped make that experience as joyful as they possibly could. My dad describes walking past my delivery room and hearing laughter during the delivery. That is exactly how our moms helped during that process. Geoff and I are forever thankful for our moms, dads, Grady and Mandy for walking each step with us during those awful two and a half days.

Our siblings came into town as fast as they could. Robby (my older brother), Keri and the girls showed up Monday night late. Brad, Sarah (my older sister) and D.O.G. (their dog) showed up Tuesday evening. Greg (Geoff's older brother) showed up Wednesday late evening at about 11 from Phoenix, AZ. Robby, Keri, Sarah and Brad plus my Aunt Claudia, Mandy, my parents, Geoff's parents, Greg and Grady were our support system that we leaned on hard, and continue to lean on during this process. They were the ones that we surrounded ourselves with from Sunday the 14th all the way through Thursday the 18th. They prayed with us, hugged us and laughed with us. They offered their wisdom and advice when needed. They listen to us and assisted with our grieving. They have all been amazing in every way.

One of the most amazing ways that my family helped Geoff and I was to make my birthday one that I'll never forget. They simply made me feel normal that day. My sister Sarah and cousin Mandy took me out to get my hair done. We took pictures in the salon and laughed the entire time, such good therapy. My mom prepared cinnamon rolls for my birthday breakfast and we relaxed at home for much of the day. Robby helped Geoff unwind on my birthday by playing video games with him. They battled it out, but Geoff won 6 games to 1. It was a great day. That evening, my family took me out to the Olive Garden where our waiters brought out two full cakes for my birthday dessert. We laughed and talked and attempted truly to be the loudest table in the restaurant. It was an amazing birthday evening. Geoff and I are so thankful for the family that God has blessed us with.

Ever since Sunday night, when Geoff and I discovered we had lost our son Parker, the warmth and love from our out of town family (east coast and west coast aunts, uncles and cousins), friends, fellow church members and co-workers has been pouring in like we could never have imagined. Our cell phones and house phone have been ringing off the hook with encouraging texts and voicemail. Our house, currently, is overflowing with flowers and cards offering sympathy, support and prayer. We are forever thankful for these people and all their thoughts and prayers.

Finally, and most important of all, there is no way that Geoff and I could have gotten through those days from Sunday the 14th through Thursday the 18th without our faith in God. We have had to live and learn what it means for God to be strong in our weakness. We have experienced the calming presence of the Holy Spirit and the overpowering strength of God. We know what it means to lean on his everlasting arms.

Sunday, at church, I had this nagging feeling to go to the altar and pray for Parker. I asked the Lord to reassure me that everything would be OK. Later that evening, as we walked from triage in labor and delivery to our delivery room I felt a calmness come over me, a peace that transcended all understanding. My heart rate went back to normal and my mind was cleared by this calming presence that I can only identify as the Holy Spirit. At that moment, God offered that calming reassurance that I had asked for earlier at church and He has continued to offer it. Each and every morning Geoff and I have asked for God's strength to guide us through the day and each and every day He has provided that for us. It is only because of God's strength that we have made it this far and will continue to heal and grow from this.

God is good, and He has proved that to us time again during this past week. Geoff and I can honestly say, that not once during this entire process have we questioned our faith. Not once, during this entire past week have we questioned God's abilities. My uncle Jim put it best when he talked with my mom last week. He said, this is shit and Jesus is deep in the shit with us.

God has not abandoned us, He has not forsaken us or forgotten about us. He is walking every step of the way with us and through this. God is good and because of that I will lean on Him forever and depend on his unending strength forever. Praise the Lord for all that He has done and all that He will do for Geoff and I. We are eternally grateful for all He has done for us and all He will do.

On a Lighter Note

For those of you who know me well, you know that back in July I begin the countdown to my birthday. I always look forward to each and every birthday. I have been this way, for as long as I can remember. In fact, when I was really little, I used to quietly countdown the days to my birthday, starting the day after (1 year until I'm 7, 11 months until I'm 7, 10 months until I'm 7, etc...).

After the countdown begins, so begins the frantic preparation of my wish list. That's right, I make up a wish list, and have been for as long as I can remember (I do this for Christmas too). The wish list, in it's early days, was formed on a scratch piece of paper and hung on the refrigerator for all to see. The important items, the ones I really wanted, usually had a star by them. Therefore, on a list of 10 items, 9 would have stars.

The list has since evolved. As my parents, siblings, husband and in-laws can attest, the list has evolved into a sort of catalog. Round about the age of 15 I was working on my wish list for Christmas when I thought, why not add pictures, prices, sizes, and even the item #! So I did just that. I started adding pictures of the item, prices of the item, sizes and even the item #. I would then categorize the list by importance (how badly I wanted it) and by store (everything from Old Navy would be together, from Gap, Target, etc.) It was brilliant and I've been doing it ever since, except for this year.

This year I didn't start my countdown as early and I didn't make up a wish list. In fact, I haven't made that big of a deal regarding my birthday. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant. Maybe it's because I've been so consumed with buying things for Parker. Or maybe it's because...I'm turning......25!

That's right, this year, this September 17th of 2008 marks my 25th year of life. I will have officially lived a quarter of a century on that date. INSANE isn't it! The other day I was sitting and thinking about my birthday, which again, hasn't happened very often lately, but I was sitting and thinking about the fact that I am 5 years shy of 30!! DOUBLE INSANE!! I feel like the years are flying by. Like just yesterday I was so ecstatic to be turning 15, 18, 21 and now...I'm FREAKING TURNING 25! Before I know it I will be 30 and then 40 and then....well I don't even want to think about it.

The one thing that does help in all of this quarter century misery. The one person that has really made me start to look forward to turning 25 is my husband. Geoff says that I'm going to make a HOT 25 year old and then a REALLY HOT 30 year old. He's so good to me. He tells me as often as he can how excited he is for me to turn 30 because he knows that I'll be a hot 30 year old mom. What would I do without my husband. He's wonderful.

So with this new found confidence. This new found excitement (that I'm really trying to convince myself of) I say, bring it on 25! I'm ready for ya! I'm gonna knock your socks off and start the phrase "25 is the new 12"! WHAT!? You know what I mean.

(Happy Birthday to me in 6 days and counting)

Remembering...

Today marks the seventh anniversary of the attack on 9/11. Each year, when this date rolls around, our television sets, internet sites, and radio stations become inundated with images and sounds of that day. Flags fly high from banks, schools, houses, places of business and cars. Banners reading "We Will Never Forget" are hung in public places. Moments of silence mark the times when the planes hit the Twin Towers, Pentagon and Shanksville, PA.

Every year, on this day, I am taken back to the fall of my senior year.

That morning, I woke up early and began my normal routine. Thoughts of my 18th birthday being 6 days away were running through my mind. I turned on the radio to the local Christian station, as I did every morning. The rest of my family was either asleep or just beginning to wake up. As I was in my room getting ready for the day I remember a breaking news report coming across the radio waves. The report stated that a plane had struck one of the twin towers. The first reports, as all of us know now, stated that it was a small plane. I freaked out. I ran into my parents room and turned on there TV to our local NBC station. The first images of the twin towers blared onto the screen. My mom, dad, sister and I were all standing there in silence. I think I may have asked what the Twin Towers were and why they were so important. I don't remember the answer I was given. I just remember thinking that the world was now a completely different place. I also remember thinking that the last time our nation had been struck by an outside force was back in 1942 when we were "ushered" into the second World War. I was terrified. My mom encouraged me to continue getting ready for school. I spitefully finished getting my things together, got in my car and headed off to school.

The halls of Redmond High were eerily quiet. Each classroom I passed had their TV's tuned into either CNN or NBC. Each screen held images of the Twin Towers. Teachers were whispering quietly to one another about what was going on. They were trying there best to shield the students from the harsh reality that was slowly unfolding on TV. My first class of the day was Health. I entered the classroom (one of the first students) to find my Health teacher crying quietly at her desk. She made an attempt to pull herself together and begin teaching, but could not do it. Since I was the oldest student in the class she turned to me and asked if I wouldn't mind teaching. Evidently she had a friend who worked in the North Tower with whom she had not been able to make contact.

I remember driving home, past houses, banks, and places of business seeing each flag flying mournfully half way down their poles. When I arrived home I immediately turned the TV on to find the steps of our Nation's capital filled with politicians standing shoulder to shoulder singing God Bless America. This image still moves me.

That evening, my dad opened up the church for people to come and pray for our nation. Several people turned out and gathered around the alter and lifted those who had perished, their families, and those in leadership of our nation, in prayer. The memory of that still moves me.

We found out later that one of our church people, a pilot of a large airline, had been in the air that day. His plane was escorted to a small airfield up north, by two fighter jets. We all found out later that this had been happening all over the nation. The skies were empty, the airports were closed. The nation was grieving.

What a day that was. A day that I will never forget. A day, a week before my birthday, that I will do my best to remember and recall as much as I can. A day where I will, from here on out, celebrate the courage. A day I will always, always remember.

Paranoia Strikes Deep...

I think of myself as a person who is really stable, strong, rooted in my faith, and all in all, not usually that paranoid. However, when stuff comes up in the news that freaks me out, all that stuff I just said disappears and I become this little 5 year old who's freaked out by EVERYTHING!

This happened today. I came back from my lunch break and saw my co-worker looking at something strange on Foxnews.com. I inquired as to what she was looking at it, to which she promptly covered the screen with her hands and said, "nothing that you want to know about." Which of course, brought about the same reaction as when someone tells you not to look at the man peeing on the side of the road as you drive by. I had to look, I had to see and I had to know what she was looking at. After much insistence and persuasion she showed me the screen.

At Foxnews.com she was reading about an underground experiment that will take place tomorrow in Switzerland (I think). This experiment is being done to try and recreate the big-bang theory. The fear behind it is that it could begin the destruction of the earth, according to this article. The article at Foxnews.com also said that it could cause a black whole in the center of the earth. None of this sounds very promising at all.

OK, so I'm college educated, I'm a Christian woman, I should not be scared of a news story that probably has been doctored to be more frightening than it actually is. However, these rational thoughts do not outweigh the irrational ones that seem to be clouding my mind this afternoon. I can't help but be consumed by the fact that tomorrow may be the beginning of the end. I have prayed all afternoon, every time I feel my heart rate go up and palms start to sweat, I pray.

There is one person that always seems to calm me down, well two people. The first person my husband. Geoff is such a rational person, who is not frightened by much. When I freaked out about the near earth asteroid that's set to hit the earth April 11, of 2036, Geoff was the first person that helped to calm me down. He reasoned it out with me that God is in control and that that's all that matters.

The second person is my dad. He's always been a calming force in my life. When I was in my freshman year of college, the US had been involved in the Iraq war for roughly a year. The talk of "WMD's" was running rampant on the news. Every time I heard this phrase my heart raced. I could barely sleep at night with the fear of Nuclear war hanging over my head. Finally, I decided to call my dad. He immediately put a stop to my fears by reassuring me that the only people that would want to nuke Idaho would be the crazies from Montana who want our potatoes (which to this day, strangely enough, still reassures me, calms me down and totally cracks me up).

So I've decided, tonight, the two people I need to talk to about this are my husband and my dad. And I'm sure, after talking with them, I'll be able to sleep soundly tonight.

Braxton Hicks and Other Fun Pregnancy Happenings

Being pregnant has been so easy for me. I have missed out on some of the "joys" of pregnancy. I have had zero morning sickness, very little achiness (nothing that a little Tylenol couldn't fix), no strange cravings (except for that gas station burrito), zero constipation (I know, TMI), etc. etc. All in all, I have been very lucky, or as mom says, blessed. Lately; however, I have begun to experience the other "joys" of pregnancy.

The first "joy" occured the other night. My big bouncing baby boy Parker, decided to take flips and leaps inside the uterus. I was working on my tetris game on the internet, our laptop was teetering haplessly on my tummy. All of a sudden it got knocked to the right, and then to the left. I'm not kidding, Parker kicked hard. Plus, on top of his kicking, I had tons of gas bubbles that he decided to box or play kickball with. Basically, whenever Parker decided to kick, or punch, he would aim for a gas bubble causing a sharp shooting pain to run through my tummy. I had to stop what I was doing, pause my tetris game and hold my breath. Geoff thought for sure that I was dying. "Babe, you're scaring me. Should he be moving that much? Is that healthy? Are you gonna be ok? Is Parker hurting you?" Geoff asked, anxiously. I reassured him that this activity is both normal and healthy, but it hurts because of my gas. Geoff then sits back and watches the action. A couple seconds pass, and before you know it, Parker's at it again. Punching, kicking, rolling, flipping. This time, he stops and appears to pose. That's right, he posed. He kicked and held his little foot out and pressed it against my uterus as hard as he could causing my tummy to go lopsided. I pressed where his foot was pressing. It was the hardest little mass that I have ever felt. Geoff pressed too and told Parker to "stop it, stop hurting mommy". I laughed, and then held my breath and whinced in pain until he moved. Then, all of a sudden he flipped and held, what we think may have been his little butt, tight up against my uterus. So again, Geoff and I put our hands on the little bump and felt yet another hard mass. This went on from roughly 7 in the evening until I went to bed at 11.

Today brought another "joy" of pregnancy that I had yet to experience, all though, this one is not quite so fun. Braxton Hicks. I thought I had experienced these before, but I guess I really hadn't. A few days ago, when I thought I had experienced them, I was driving to pick up Geoff when I started getting cramps. The cramps began in my lower abdomen and that's where they stayed. They lasted for just a few minutes, but they were not fun at all. What I experienced today was nothing like that. Today, as I was sitting in our break room, eating my lunch and reading Steven Ambrose's Victors (Yes dad, I believe that's your book) my tummy hardened. I felt like it was going to harden forever. It hardened so much that it felt like it was just solid! I freaked out. I thought it was going to crack or burst open, one of the two. All I could do was just stare at it. After lunch, I went upstairs and told my co-workers what happened. They gave me the funniest reaction. They were both so excited for me. My co-worker Tina shrieked with joy and exclaimed that that just means that I'm getting close. (CLOSE! I'm only 33 weeks!!!! I have 7 weeks!!!! I NEED those 7 weeks!!!!) Anyway, I laughed it off and went to my desk. About an hour later my tummy did it again, and then again, and then it stopped. Praise the Lord it's just Braxton Hicks, awful, awful Braxton Hicks.

So that's it. I made it 8 months with not much excitement. I made it 8 months with nothing to freak out about, nothing to complain about, not much to worry about. Now, I have the joys of an overactive baby and Braxton Hicks. Praise the Lord for the joys of pregnancy.

Some people...

Have you ever talked to someone who just made you feel like a moron? Someone who totally made you feel unprepared, incompetent and completely defeated? Well that happened to me the other night.

To preface this story a little, I need to begin by explaining that I have decided to be a working mom *gasp*. I know, it's a pretty modern decision and one that no other mom, in the history of the U.S. and the WORLD for that matter, has ever made before, at least, that's how people treat me. Every time I tell anyone that I have decided to keep working after Parker is born, I get the same reaction..."oh you just wait..." I HATE IT!!! That's basically what this story is about...

Two nights ago I ran into a woman who we will call "Kay". She's a Christian woman that I have met only one time before. I have had dealings with her, but not very often. Usually when we talk it's about issues regarding the Credit Union and what not. Anyway, this particular night she asked how my pregnancy was going and when I was due. I told her everything was going great and that I have been really blessed with a pretty easy pregnancy. She then asked me if I lived in Nampa, to which I replied, yes. This is when she gets personal. With wide eyes and a very over exaggerated reaction she says "Oh WOW! That's such a hard commute!" To which I replied, "It's actually not that bad. The only time of year I dread is the winter." Kay then replies, "yeah, but you'll miss most of that when you leave to have your baby right?" I explain that I'll be leaving the middle of October and returning to work the middle of December. To which her eyes get wide AGAIN. She then says, "OH WOW!!" (louder than the first time)

This is when I got angry. After exclaiming her disbelief that I would be returning to work, I quickly reply by explaining that I'll be coming back somewhat part time. She then throws her head back and laughs out loud (I'm so not making this up...I wish I was). Kay, after regaining her composure says, "Somewhat part time?" I reply, "Well yeah, I'll be working a minimum of 32 hours a week." She then tosses her head back once more, laughs even louder and says, "Oh and you work how much now?" (in a very sarcastic tone) I reply, "I work 40 hours now." She tosses her head back again, laughs extremely loud (still so NOT making this up) and says "Oh OK." to which she rolls her eyes, and says "Good luck with that."

I was fuming mad. I had visions of punching this woman in the throat. How dare she completely demean and defeat me like that. What's even worse is she's not the first woman I have come into contact with who has defeated me regarding being a working mom. Some of the most popular responses I get are, "Oh well, when that baby comes you'll change your mind" or "That's what you think now, but you just wait." Each one just makes me want to prove them wrong more and more.

(Just a sad side note, each of the woman that have opposed my decision to be a working parent, each one that made me feel guilty, defeated, incompetent and who completely demeaned me were all Christian women...how sad and tragic.)

This is a decision that I made way before I knew I was pregnant. I have always wanted to be a career woman, and a fellow contributor to the household income. I do not believe this makes me a bad mommy. I also do not believe this sets Parker up for a hard life. I plan on being very active in my son's life. I am blessed by the fact that Sue, my boss at the Credit Union, as allowed me to have the mornings to be with Parker. I am also blessed by the fact that I don't have to work on the weekends. On top of all those blessings, my friend Jenica has blessed Geoff and I by stepping up and offering to watch Parker during the day. All these blessings, I believe, come from God, blessing my decision to continue working.

I completely understand that there will be days, maybe even entire weeks, where I will wish that I was home. Days where I will wish I could just hang out with my boys. Days where I will cry on my way to work because I may be feeling guilty about leaving Parker. But above all that, I know that my working will give Geoff and I the ability to provide the things that Parker needs and the ability to live comfortably. For me, that far out weighs any stupid comments I receive from stupid people.

Oh What a Wonderful Weekend

Labor Day weekend. The last three-day weekend of the summer. The final weekend to get away and relax before autumn begins. The weekend that, in the Harmon house, was centered around three things: the Opening of Dove Season, the BSU/Idaho State game and Geoff's new blue beauty.

Friday the 29th started with Geoff heading to the DMV before work to take his written test to obtain his motorcycle permit. It ended with Geoff bringing home, after work, his brand new 2009 Honda Rebel motorcycle. When I got home, an hour and a half later, he was sitting in our driveway on his new motorcycle grinning from ear to ear. He drove it up and down our neighborhood twice before putting it away for the day. I had no clue how badly he was wanting a motorcycle. You would have thought it was Christmas, the way he was so giddy and excited. That night he could barely sleep.

Saturday the 30th, Geoff helped me clean the house, and then treated himself to another spin around the block on his new motorcycle. Seeing as how he hasn't taken driving lessons yet, this was pretty much all he could do. Still, it was the most exhilarating thing for him. That afternoon we went shoe shopping and bought him a pair of steel toed boots. We also, bought myself the cutest pair of blue boat shoes. Then that evening, Geoff invited over a few friends and watched the BSU/Idaho State game while I escaped to Flying M where I ran into a dear friend of mine and decided to sit down and catch up a little. One medium Wildberry Jet Tea, Berry Oat Bar, and 4 hours later we said our goodbyes and I drove home.

Sunday the 31st, Geoff and I headed to church together (after I had successfully talked him out of driving his motorcycle). After church we had lunch with friends and then Grady came over to see the new motorcycle. Geoff just had to take it on another spin around the block to show Grady just how awesome it is. That evening, after our 5th Sunday evening service, Grady and Geoff got ready to head for the opening of Dove hunting the following morning. They packed their fried egg sandwiches, counted thier steel shot, and went to bed at 11:30pm.

Monday morning, Labor Day, started bright and early at 5:45am. Labor day marks the beginning of dove season and the only day that Geoff willingly gets out of bed before the sun. All the boys in the house, Grady, Geoff and our dog Opie, were excitedly packing up the truck and getting ready to head out. They left the house at 6:00am, while I sat and turned on the TV to see what could possibly be on that early. Around 11:00am they arrived back home, Geoff had 0 doves, Grady got 1. A pretty successful day. I layed down for a nap and Geoff took his motorcycle out. That evening, we had pizza and watch Family Man (such a good movie).

All in all, this weekend was a wonderful weekend. Filled with the excitement of football and a new toy for Geoff. What a great way to say goodbye to summer and hello to autumn.

PS: the countdown for the arrival of Parker Geofferson is 33 weeks and 2 days (equals 47 days left!!!!)

**I know this was kind of a ramble, but that's what this blog is all about.**