About Me

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Kirkland, Washington, United States
I am a child of God. I am a follower of Jesus. I am a wife, momma, daughter, sister and friend. I love good conversation and hearty laughter. A good cup of coffee is always appreciated. Most of all, I desire to bring others into an experience with Jesus. One that will shape their lives and rock their souls for Him. Geoff is my best friend and amazing husband. Parker is my handsome boy who lives in Heaven. Norah is my bright star and bringer of joy. Tori is my overcomer and peaceful warrior. I live to show Jesus' love to each person He places in my path. I pray this blog strengthens you, comforts you and encourages you and that it MOST OF ALL causes you to want to get to know Jesus in a deeper level.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Blessings...

I decided it was time to fill you all in on a few blessings.

Yesterday at church Nancy approached me after the service to let me know that she had visited Parker's grave. She said that she and her family had gone to the cemetery to visit her dad's grave and decided to visit Parker's as well. I was touched and blessed to hear this. I love knowing that people are still thinking about him. Thank you Nancy for visiting my son's grave. It means the world to me.

I feel like, because it has been nearly 4 months, people are slowly beginning to forget about Parker, or they are beginning to feel like we are "all better". The pain is still there. It is not severe as it was in those first few weeks, but the feeling of loss is still present. It is such a blessing to know that there are people who have not forgotten. It is such a blessing to know that there are people who still think about our Parker. What a blessing.

Thank you again Nancy, for visiting our Parker's grave.

***

As you all know, Geoff and I celebrated Christmas with my family. While we were visiting them, Kate, my 4-year old inquisitive niece, had a few questions for me.

On Wednesday night, after we had arrived and settled in, Kate asked her first question, "Where's your baby?" I stood there, a little startled and said, "He's not here." She then tilted her head and said, "Where is he?" Unsure of whether or not she could grasp the concept of heaven, I said, "He's right here," (pointing to my chest) "in my heart." Kate responded, very sweetly, "In your heart?" I nodded my head in response, "yup, right inside my heart." That was the end of that.

Then, Friday morning, as I was getting ready for the day, Kate came into my room and asked another question. "Where does your baby sleep?" I stood there, again a little startled, heart racing and said, "What's that Kate?" She asked the question again, "Where does your baby sleep in here?" I looked around and said, "Well...he doesn't sleep in here because he's not here." I thought that would end the questions, but it only prompted another question, "Well, where is he?" This time I felt myself getting irritated, so I snapped, "He's not here, OK Kate. There is no baby." I quickly turned around, facing my back to Kate as I finished getting ready. I felt rotten. I couldn't believe how I had snapped at my sweet niece.

Kate stood in the corner of my room, silently fidgeting with my mom's snowman figurine. Then she broke the silence by saying one of the sweetest things my Kate has ever said to me. Her tiny voice spoke these words, "Well, my sister Annie is a baby, so you can play with her if you want. You can tickle her and love her and play on the floor with her if you want." My eyes began to burn with tears. I couldn't look at her because I knew I would have bawled. I just stood there, putting my Parker necklace on and said in a shaky, quiet voice, "Thanks Katers."

***

Blessings come at the most random of times, like when I'm getting ready in the morning, thinking about a million other things, or when Nancy approached me at church while I was collecting my things to leave.

I love these sorts of random blessings. God is good.

Thank you Lord for these tiny blessings that mean SO MUCH to me.

PRAISE THE LORD!

4 comments:

my3sons said...

Kids do say the darndest things. My five year old said a good one last week. We were at my parents for dinner and my Aunt and her boyfriend came in. They have been together for two years. Her husband died about 5 years ago. My son comes to me and says "He is alive" in front of everyone. I knew that he thought the boyfriend was her deceased husband. I wanted to crawl into a rock! Your sweet niece looks at things very literal. It can be hard to hear kids say those things. I think of your son often and have been following your blog for a while. You and your family have been in my prayers. Katie in Maine

Jill said...

Awesome Rachel! Nancy is great, isn't she? I know she loves you and Geoff a lot! She is a very special friend of mine. :) And while you and I never really got to be 'friends', I think of you almost everyday. You guys are still in the hearts of people who love you and we are still praying for your healing. Thank you for the update, and I hope you feel comfortable enough to let us know thru your blog how you are doing. Good, bad or indifferent. Love you.

Anonymous said...

Wow... I cannot even imagine. Thank you for sharing.... and, believe me when I say that people remember Parker (even though we may never have met him). Although we might not mention it to you when we see you or talk to you, we remember. It could be that we do not know what to say and think it best to be silent. No one will know how you feel unless they have gone through it, but know that we care and think of you often.

Jess

Lindsey said...

The Kate thing is the sweetest thing on earth :) Thanks for sharing